This just in: The Red Sox are fucked. Here's to another 80-odd years without a World Series Championship.
Update: Well, Theo can always go work for the Brockton Rox!
"We don't actually have an office for Theo," Rox president Jim Lucas said. "But we built two new cubicles this year and he'd have his own phone and access to the internet."
After all, Brockton is the City of Champions. (After only a couple years, though, I don't think the Rox contribute to that reputation.)