Tonight's Negroni #3: The Derpiest Marshmallow

FYI: This is an archive of my Tonight's Negroni email newsletter.

Generally, I think I'm a pretty smart dude. Occasionally, however, I am presented with devastatingly irrefutable evidence to the contrary. 

This is one of those.

To start with, a confession: I am one of the 90+ thousand people who Kickstarted the new Veronica Mars movie. My Special Lady Friend (SLF) and I enjoyed the series quite a bit, and it was exciting to be part of such a crazily successful Kickstarter campaign.

Well, anyway, the fun begins when I get a Kickstarter update that mentions that there will be a funders-only preview the day before general release at the theater around the corner from my house. "That sounds like fun," I think to myself. "SLF would be excited to go to that."

Reading the updates again, I see absolutely no realistic way for my mistake to have actually happened.

AMC has also shared a few more details about what you can expect at their "Veronica Mars Fan Event": the advance screenings will take place on March 13 at 8pm, and will include exclusive footage from our red carpet premieres, as well as exclusive t-shirts and limited edition lanyards for all attendees.


Again, these are the only 17 theaters where Fan Events are being held on March 13

The details are very clear, right? Tickets for the preview event on March 13 were going on sale on February 13. They also mention that tickets for the March 14th general premiere were going to go on sale on February 14. Simple.

Then something happened. 

When I bought the tickets (after some struggle with the AMC web site), my idiotic little brain suddenly ignored everything that said "March" and just saw "Thursday the 13th" and since February has 28 days (usually), days of the week in February are the same as in March, "Thursday the 13th" got magically translated to TODAY!

This really shouldn't be a problem. There are people around me who should be able to correct my confusion with no more damage to me than a little embarrassment. 

You'd think.

So, I (in my frothing state of mistaken knowledge) forward the ticket receipt to SLF with the note: "You'd better hurry home from ballet." Does she point out my mistake with a little "Babe, that's in March..."? Nope! "I'll be home at 6:45!" she says. 

Now she's infected. She actually thinks I know what I'm doing.

Sure enough, we head off to the theater and get the tickets from the Fandango kiosk. Now get this: We walk in the door and hand the tickets to the kid, he looks at them, his brow wiggles just a bit as if he might have the thought to correct our mistake, but then he tears the tickets and tells us "You'll be in theater 14 right there." Damn it, kid! YOU HAD ONE JOB!

Upside: We discover there in now a bar in this theater! Aces! 

We get a drink and a snack and we wonder where everybody is. The bartender lady asks what we're here to see and we tell her that we're here for the Veronica Mars preview event. "Oh, that looks great. I can't wait to see that one." she says with absolutely zero comprehension or awareness of reality. Then we get round 2 and go into the theater which is still labelled for the LEGO movie. We sit in the empty theater and grow increasingly concerned as people start filing in with their kids. 

We tough it out, stewing in our befuddlement, until the LEGO movie actually starts. At which point we trot over to the information desk and ask the manager what's going on. She tilts her head, looks at our tickets for a bit and then *BING*"These are for March!"

Holy crap. 

How dumb are we? 



Thunderously dumb.

She assures us we'll be able to get into the real event (which is nearly sold out, BTW) with our torn tickets. She'll send an email, she says as she writes a note and her initials on the back of our tickets. Guess we'll see how that goes in March...

The astounding part is how my stupidity managed to pass so many checks. 

The derp is strong in this one.

By this point you no doubt believe my damaged brain probably doesn't need a drink, but let's do it anyway:

  1. Mix it in a glass with ice.
  2. Drink it.

My default "well" gin is Tanqueray. It's a great, no frills "London Dry" gin with good juniper. 

To class up this very basic Negroni, we turn to what I consider the king of sweet vermouths. Antica has a lot going on, but there's a vanilla flavor that really gets a highlight in this drink.

Thanks for reading (if you made it this far). Always feel free to reply to these and let me know what I'm doing well or not-so-well. I'd love the feedback. I still have no idea what I'm doing here.