Chuck Norris. I'm sure many of you figured he had faded into a halcyon semi-retirement of Total Gym hucksterism, anti-drug campaigning, and... um... praying after the demise of his Walker, Texas Ranger series. I'm doubly sure you all had figured Chuck had strayed far, far away from his Lone Wolf McQuade martial arts badassedness of yore.
Well, I'm here to set you straight, boys and girls.
Chuck Norris' return to glory was first hinted at when he became the subject of one of the most entertaining internet memes of the past ten minutes:
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
That was just the beginning, though. Now it has come to light that Chuck Norris is the driving force behind an all new form of ass kicking for entertainment known as the World Combat League:
There is currently no full-contact martial arts team sport in the United States. The WCL will be the only venue to offer the public full-contact martial arts fighting. There is literally no competition for the services and products the WCL will offer to the public. There is a huge demand for martial arts in the United states and the WCL will be the first sports league to offer the excitement and unpredictability of full-contact martial arts fighting.
Sure, Chuck is only a "suit" at the top of the WCL ladder. And yeah, it looks like the fighting is just glorified kick boxing -- hands and feet only (stick to the UFC if you enjoy elbows, Muy Thai knees, and grappling). But they have women on the teams (WCL is a "team sport"... kind of like Davis Cup tennis...?), and the whole contest is supposedly set up to encourage action. In fact, there are penalties for being too passive or stalling.
Might be worth checking out.
One is only left to wonder if all of this is happening because of the fact that Chuck Norris is Dubya's favoritest actor in, like, ever!