My Baby Can Kick Your Baby's Ass

Now that we are married and approaching our early-mid-thirties, The Wife and I occasionally discuss the possiblity of procreating... While I generally run from the room screaming when the subject comes up (little people scare me), I have to say I would have a fun time gearing up my kid thanks to the following options:

Of course, the best thing ever would be tooling around the mall with one of these puppies.