Joel Stein is a funny guy

Someone Has To Miss Hockey

Being a hockey fan was my way of seeming special. So I hope when the NHL comes back, probably not until 2007, it doesn’t try to revamp itself for the masses. There are lots of suggestions: making the goals bigger or the goalie pads smaller; getting rid of the red line; eliminating fighting; having monkeys drive Zambonis; putting strippers in the penalty box. Some of those ideas might be mine.

Oh, no... Keep the Simianistas away from our Zamboni technology, son.